This is Jason.
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He was born on February 8th, nine months to the day from the day his father (the Disabled Guy- he's got his own blog) got home from the Persian Gulf War. How do I know? I counted. The doctor told me I was due on February 2nd. I said I wouldn't have the baby till the 8th or the 9th. He asked me how I knew. I replied that Jerry didn't get home from the War till May 12th. The doctor exclaimed: "That has nothing to do with it!" (actually, it kind of does!).
Here's Jase a month before he turned three years old. (with his dad and two sisters- Kat and Ceej).
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Anyway, Jason was born weighing 11 pounds 0 ounces and was 22 1/2 inches tall. Yeah, he was a big kid. I had him natural, no drugs. Yes, go ahead and cringe. It wasn't that bad, actually. His delivery was a lot easier than his sister- Kathrine was born at 9 lbs 4 oz and was 20 1/2 inches tall.
So, a few weeks ago, I asked my delightful son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. I expected: "Chocolate" or "an ice cream cake" or "it doesn't matter". No, my son declared: "I want a vagina cake! Not an actual vagina, because on a cake, that's gross."
Being a good mum, I said I'd do my best. I even went to the local adult store to see if they had any cake pans. I got a booby cake pan. I decided if I couldn't figure out how to do a vagina-shaped cake, I could at least do a booby cake. As I share with you the adventures of my cake-making, I'm going to show random photos of Jase.
Here's another taken on the same day as the one above. I bought that purple scarf specifically for "Parents Night" at the football game.
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I think he was twelve years old in this photo. But he's wearing my paper tiara.
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As I was saying, I'm a good mum and I try to do things for my kids. We don't have a lot of disposable income, living on a fixed income and paying all our bills. We don't give our kids tons of stuff or even have a lot of cash to hand out, so when one of them comes to me with a simple request, I try to do it.
I looked up online, how to make those little frosting roses. I figured I could modify that technique to make the girly bits. Don't go all scientific on me and try to explain the parts of the female genitalia. I know the parts that look like a flower aren't exactly the "vagina" in a proper sense and the whole area has its own name, but so what? I know what the kid meant.
So, I baked the booby cake. For your information, this particular booby cake pan holds about as much cake batter as a 9-inch round cake pan. Here's the supplies. I used cake mixes and canned frosting because I knew it would be a lot of work and didn't want to spend more time on my feet than I had to (we all know the saga that is my knee-replacement story).
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Here's the pan full of batter-
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It took a little longer than the box's instruction of "27 to 33 minutes". I'd say it took about 40 minutes.
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I should have let it cool a little bit longer. So, if you decide to make a booby cake, when you think you've sprayed the pan with enough non-stick spray, you should probably do it again... just to be sure.
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I tried to make the frosting a fleshy Caucasian-y type color. I used 25 drops of yellow to 4 drops of red. Then I added ten more yellow. Then ten more... I stopped counting when I got to 60 drops of yellow to that mere 4 drops of red. I decided I should stop because after 60 drops of yellow food coloring, I thought maybe I was putting our internal organs at risk. They'd find our corpses the next day, our skin tinted yellow, cake half-eaten on plates.
Well, this frosting stayed orange. I swear its getting orange-er as the night goes on. Jase and Ceej decided that the boobies belong to a stripper with a fake spray-on tan and she's wearing pasties. It didn't help that when I was trying to put decent nipples on the damn thing, the kids were standing behind me, giggling like fiends.
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Here's Jase on October 3, 2009 (also my 40th birthday). It was the night of the Homecoming Dance. I took this photo myself, in my kitchen, with my Canon Digital Ixus. (best birthday gift ever!) This is also the photo I gave to the school to use as his senior portrait for the yearbook.
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Now, since the booby cake is done, I still had to make the "normal" cake. I already had one 9-inch round layer of a cake, from that booby cake. So, I made two more. The other cake is three layers high. And, it will have flower-bits on it.
Just like the real thing- each one is different.
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As of my typing, the pink flower parts are drying. When they've set completely, I will move them to the three layer round cake. I made that frosting green. No reason, just figured it was a nice contrast to the orange boobies and pink... uh, bits.
Here's a photo of Jase about a month after his 11th birthday. I took this photo with my old-school 35mm Nikon camera with 1200 speed film and no flash. I was standing a little ways back from the guy holding the board. I liked to stay as inconspicuous as possible at Jase's tournaments because I didn't want to make him nervous. I zoomed in, focused on the board and waited for Jase to do his other breaks, run and leap over three kids and do this flying sidekick. I liked this photo so much that I replaced his school photo that year with this.
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This was from a different tournament- he used to do a standing sidekick to break a board, then drop into the splits and break the board with a punch, then he'd jump to his feet and do the flying sidekick (pictured above).
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One more bragging thing, then I'll post something that embarrasses him because that's my job as his mum. To bake booby cakes and embarrass him.
Here's a video from November 3, 2007. He took the first place trophy over one of his former instructors.
Concrete breaking, November 3, 2007
Patty O'Lantern | MySpace Video
And, here's a video of Jase doing a horrible impression of Steve Irwin. He does it ALL the time- random accents. Before Irwin died, Jase used to do his voice almost constantly. But, now he just does random Australian, Scottish, English, East Indian, and other various and poorly executed accents. But he's hilarious.
This was from September 10, 2006. After he finished, he said, "Aw, dang. I shoulda said "jumper" instead of sweater."
Jason's tribute to Steve Irwin
Patty O'Lantern | MySpace Video
Jase claims he "hates" the little dogs. But I have photographic evidence that says otherwise.
Jase and Bruno.
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Jase and Jasper (little dark brown one) and Luna (on cushion above him). They are also Bruno's parents.
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So, there you have it. Jase is a pervy football player who can do horrible accents who happens to lie about liking the little dogs.
I leave you with a shot of Jase taking a nap under the watchful eye of Gypsy, our German Shepherd.
![]()
He was born on February 8th, nine months to the day from the day his father (the Disabled Guy- he's got his own blog) got home from the Persian Gulf War. How do I know? I counted. The doctor told me I was due on February 2nd. I said I wouldn't have the baby till the 8th or the 9th. He asked me how I knew. I replied that Jerry didn't get home from the War till May 12th. The doctor exclaimed: "That has nothing to do with it!" (actually, it kind of does!).
Here's Jase a month before he turned three years old. (with his dad and two sisters- Kat and Ceej).
Anyway, Jason was born weighing 11 pounds 0 ounces and was 22 1/2 inches tall. Yeah, he was a big kid. I had him natural, no drugs. Yes, go ahead and cringe. It wasn't that bad, actually. His delivery was a lot easier than his sister- Kathrine was born at 9 lbs 4 oz and was 20 1/2 inches tall.
So, a few weeks ago, I asked my delightful son what kind of cake he wanted for his birthday. I expected: "Chocolate" or "an ice cream cake" or "it doesn't matter". No, my son declared: "I want a vagina cake! Not an actual vagina, because on a cake, that's gross."
Being a good mum, I said I'd do my best. I even went to the local adult store to see if they had any cake pans. I got a booby cake pan. I decided if I couldn't figure out how to do a vagina-shaped cake, I could at least do a booby cake. As I share with you the adventures of my cake-making, I'm going to show random photos of Jase.
Here's another taken on the same day as the one above. I bought that purple scarf specifically for "Parents Night" at the football game.
I think he was twelve years old in this photo. But he's wearing my paper tiara.
As I was saying, I'm a good mum and I try to do things for my kids. We don't have a lot of disposable income, living on a fixed income and paying all our bills. We don't give our kids tons of stuff or even have a lot of cash to hand out, so when one of them comes to me with a simple request, I try to do it.
I looked up online, how to make those little frosting roses. I figured I could modify that technique to make the girly bits. Don't go all scientific on me and try to explain the parts of the female genitalia. I know the parts that look like a flower aren't exactly the "vagina" in a proper sense and the whole area has its own name, but so what? I know what the kid meant.
So, I baked the booby cake. For your information, this particular booby cake pan holds about as much cake batter as a 9-inch round cake pan. Here's the supplies. I used cake mixes and canned frosting because I knew it would be a lot of work and didn't want to spend more time on my feet than I had to (we all know the saga that is my knee-replacement story).
Here's the pan full of batter-
It took a little longer than the box's instruction of "27 to 33 minutes". I'd say it took about 40 minutes.
I should have let it cool a little bit longer. So, if you decide to make a booby cake, when you think you've sprayed the pan with enough non-stick spray, you should probably do it again... just to be sure.
I tried to make the frosting a fleshy Caucasian-y type color. I used 25 drops of yellow to 4 drops of red. Then I added ten more yellow. Then ten more... I stopped counting when I got to 60 drops of yellow to that mere 4 drops of red. I decided I should stop because after 60 drops of yellow food coloring, I thought maybe I was putting our internal organs at risk. They'd find our corpses the next day, our skin tinted yellow, cake half-eaten on plates.
Well, this frosting stayed orange. I swear its getting orange-er as the night goes on. Jase and Ceej decided that the boobies belong to a stripper with a fake spray-on tan and she's wearing pasties. It didn't help that when I was trying to put decent nipples on the damn thing, the kids were standing behind me, giggling like fiends.
Here's Jase on October 3, 2009 (also my 40th birthday). It was the night of the Homecoming Dance. I took this photo myself, in my kitchen, with my Canon Digital Ixus. (best birthday gift ever!) This is also the photo I gave to the school to use as his senior portrait for the yearbook.
Now, since the booby cake is done, I still had to make the "normal" cake. I already had one 9-inch round layer of a cake, from that booby cake. So, I made two more. The other cake is three layers high. And, it will have flower-bits on it.
Just like the real thing- each one is different.
As of my typing, the pink flower parts are drying. When they've set completely, I will move them to the three layer round cake. I made that frosting green. No reason, just figured it was a nice contrast to the orange boobies and pink... uh, bits.
Here's a photo of Jase about a month after his 11th birthday. I took this photo with my old-school 35mm Nikon camera with 1200 speed film and no flash. I was standing a little ways back from the guy holding the board. I liked to stay as inconspicuous as possible at Jase's tournaments because I didn't want to make him nervous. I zoomed in, focused on the board and waited for Jase to do his other breaks, run and leap over three kids and do this flying sidekick. I liked this photo so much that I replaced his school photo that year with this.
This was from a different tournament- he used to do a standing sidekick to break a board, then drop into the splits and break the board with a punch, then he'd jump to his feet and do the flying sidekick (pictured above).
One more bragging thing, then I'll post something that embarrasses him because that's my job as his mum. To bake booby cakes and embarrass him.
Here's a video from November 3, 2007. He took the first place trophy over one of his former instructors.
Concrete breaking, November 3, 2007
Patty O'Lantern | MySpace Video
And, here's a video of Jase doing a horrible impression of Steve Irwin. He does it ALL the time- random accents. Before Irwin died, Jase used to do his voice almost constantly. But, now he just does random Australian, Scottish, English, East Indian, and other various and poorly executed accents. But he's hilarious.
This was from September 10, 2006. After he finished, he said, "Aw, dang. I shoulda said "jumper" instead of sweater."
Jason's tribute to Steve Irwin
Patty O'Lantern | MySpace Video
Jase claims he "hates" the little dogs. But I have photographic evidence that says otherwise.
Jase and Bruno.
Jase and Jasper (little dark brown one) and Luna (on cushion above him). They are also Bruno's parents.
So, there you have it. Jase is a pervy football player who can do horrible accents who happens to lie about liking the little dogs.
I leave you with a shot of Jase taking a nap under the watchful eye of Gypsy, our German Shepherd.
