As we can see, I've been so busy that I haven't updated this thing in a while. Busy doing what? Not a hell of a lot, really. I've been tired a lot lately, which saps any form of creativity or inspiration from me. I've had several times where I thought: "Oh, this pisses me off/makes me happy/is awesome/is unusual that I'm gonna blog about it!" only to sit down later and decide I'm too tired to deal with it.
I would explain, but there is too much. Let me sum up. *nods to Inigo Montoya*
We had over a foot of snow dumped on us during a blizzard that started on a Tuesday night and went into Wednesday. (December 8th and 9th) It was what is referred to as "heart attack snow"- wet, heavy. Great for snowball fighting and snowman-building, not so great if you're the poor sod out there with a shovel. I had a desire to rant about crappy drivers from that snowstorm, but I didn't. I have a blog I did ages ago, where I posted pictures of things and gave detailed instructions on how to clear a vehicle. It was two years ago, but it is still accurate for today. Except I don't walk with a cane anymore- which was a key point in the message I was trying to get across. If I, who at the time, walked with a cane, can clear the snow off my TRUCK, then you can get the snow off your car. Here's a link to that blog.
Speaking of my truck, it happens to be a four-wheel drive. I like that because it gives me greater control in stopping and starting, plus I can push through deep snow. Don't get me wrong- I'm aware that "four-wheel drive" means "four-wheel slide" in icy conditions. I'm not an idiot. But any car is dangerous in icy conditions if you don't know how to drive in them. Here's a tip- slow down sooner. And more gradually. That means instead of waiting till the last second to slam that brake pedal, maybe you think about doing it sooner. And when that light turns green- don't hit the gas pedal like its going to give you candy the harder you step on it. Press it gently. I'm old, kids. Not really old, but so old that I remember things you probably don't. There was a PSA (back in the day, we didn't call them that, we said "public service announcement") about driving. They used the example of an egg- pretend there's an egg between your foot and the accelerator. Press gently enough that you don't crack the egg. Try it sometime. You'll be a safer driver and probably increase your gas mileage.
Moving on...
There's a website out there called "People of Wal-Mart". It is almost frightening to see some of the people who go to Wal-Mart. The site claims it doesn't make fun of obviously disabled people. I enjoy a good freak show as much as anyone and some of those people are really messed up. Go to the site (its literally the name of the site with dot-com after it), you'll see. But, they've had a few pictures of older people wearing knee-high black socks with shorts. Think about this the next time you see an old man (or woman) wearing knee-high black socks with shorts and/or sandals. They're probably heart patients. After a person has heart surgery or if they have circulation problems, they wear surgical stockings. I know this because I have to wear them sometimes. I don't wear them with shorts, but that's because I don't wear shorts in general. Those stockings help keep blood clots and swelling out of their lower legs. Don't make fun of them. Don't pity them either, because with new heart hardware and those stockings, they could probably kick your ass like Chuck Norris.
Stepping forward again-
I'm going to recommend some websites for you. Why? Because they're funny or entertaining or even just for the "aww" factor.
First, we have Snopes.com Before you forward that email to send letters to "random soldier" or cards to some sick cancer kid or that "gangs will kill you if..." go to that site. There's an easy-to-use search option right at the top of the page. Type in a few keywords and hit "enter". Then you can check it yourself instead of me doing it for you and emailing the link back to you. Because, as an active snopester, it is my obligation to spread the education.
Cake Wrecks- hilarious! Professionally decorated cakes that have gone horribly wrong. Trust me. Time-suck site. Go and enjoy.
It Made My Day- like their tagline says: "Little Moments of Win".
And a personal favorite- Regretsy- that site takes the worst of etsy (the crafting/artisan site) and shows it off for us to mock, recoil in horror, or laugh. I'm so obsessed with it that I post comments there.
Moving on to some knee talk-
I'm nine months out from my cyborg assimilation surgery. I'm still not exercising like I want, but it turns out not to be knee-related. My feet. Yup, my feet scream a poorly written symphony when I walk or stand for long periods of time. I have various 'itis issues in my feet (I have for about 18 years). I have inserts from the podiatrist, but they don't work for heavy-duty stuff. What's the heavy-duty stuff I speak of? Hauling my mASSive ass around, that's what. It took me a little while to figure out what's wrong with my feet. I spent over three years- March 3, 2006 was the date- staying off my feet, walking with crutches, then a cane, then two canes, then a walker, then crutches again, then a cane... and now that my legs are better (more on that later), I'm doing more. I'm standing to cook dinner, I'm walking up and down stairs more, I go to the grocery store without help. And my feet are protesting. They've taken it easy for so long- despite hurting during that time, at least I wasn't torturing them this way. I'm not quite sure what to do about it, but its nice to know it isn't the Steve Austin knee causing the problem.
Speaking of Steve Austin- he's doing great. I have to keep reminding myself that I can stand with my weight equally on both legs. He doesn't hurt at all. Once in a blue while, the tissue around him aches, but nothing in comparison to my life before this surgery. If I had to rate my progress, I'd say 80%. If not for my feet, I'm sure I'd feel fantastic.
This is my first Winter with the new knee (if you say that fast enough, "new knee", you'll giggle) and I'm a little paranoid about falling on the ice. So, I walk slowly, taking baby steps, shuffling along till I pass the slick area. Also, when I'm walking outdoors, my eyes are constantly scanning the ground in front of me. Back and forth, scan... scan... scan... avoid ice... scan... scan... I want to make the "vwooop-vwoooop" sound the Cylons made in "Battlestar Gallactica". (See, kids, back in the olden days, there was a TV series called "Battlestar Gallactica" where the Cylons were actual robots with one red eye that went back and forth on their faces. Not like this crap- yes, CRAP- you got now with the Cylons who look human and apparently can even get pregnant and birth out a human/cylon baby. Which confuses me, because "cylon" is from "cyborg" which means its part machine, part human. So if a baby is from a human father and a cylon mother, does that make it 75% human?)
Anyway, there you have it... and updated blog for your enjoyment.
I would explain, but there is too much. Let me sum up. *nods to Inigo Montoya*
We had over a foot of snow dumped on us during a blizzard that started on a Tuesday night and went into Wednesday. (December 8th and 9th) It was what is referred to as "heart attack snow"- wet, heavy. Great for snowball fighting and snowman-building, not so great if you're the poor sod out there with a shovel. I had a desire to rant about crappy drivers from that snowstorm, but I didn't. I have a blog I did ages ago, where I posted pictures of things and gave detailed instructions on how to clear a vehicle. It was two years ago, but it is still accurate for today. Except I don't walk with a cane anymore- which was a key point in the message I was trying to get across. If I, who at the time, walked with a cane, can clear the snow off my TRUCK, then you can get the snow off your car. Here's a link to that blog.
Speaking of my truck, it happens to be a four-wheel drive. I like that because it gives me greater control in stopping and starting, plus I can push through deep snow. Don't get me wrong- I'm aware that "four-wheel drive" means "four-wheel slide" in icy conditions. I'm not an idiot. But any car is dangerous in icy conditions if you don't know how to drive in them. Here's a tip- slow down sooner. And more gradually. That means instead of waiting till the last second to slam that brake pedal, maybe you think about doing it sooner. And when that light turns green- don't hit the gas pedal like its going to give you candy the harder you step on it. Press it gently. I'm old, kids. Not really old, but so old that I remember things you probably don't. There was a PSA (back in the day, we didn't call them that, we said "public service announcement") about driving. They used the example of an egg- pretend there's an egg between your foot and the accelerator. Press gently enough that you don't crack the egg. Try it sometime. You'll be a safer driver and probably increase your gas mileage.
Moving on...
There's a website out there called "People of Wal-Mart". It is almost frightening to see some of the people who go to Wal-Mart. The site claims it doesn't make fun of obviously disabled people. I enjoy a good freak show as much as anyone and some of those people are really messed up. Go to the site (its literally the name of the site with dot-com after it), you'll see. But, they've had a few pictures of older people wearing knee-high black socks with shorts. Think about this the next time you see an old man (or woman) wearing knee-high black socks with shorts and/or sandals. They're probably heart patients. After a person has heart surgery or if they have circulation problems, they wear surgical stockings. I know this because I have to wear them sometimes. I don't wear them with shorts, but that's because I don't wear shorts in general. Those stockings help keep blood clots and swelling out of their lower legs. Don't make fun of them. Don't pity them either, because with new heart hardware and those stockings, they could probably kick your ass like Chuck Norris.
Stepping forward again-
I'm going to recommend some websites for you. Why? Because they're funny or entertaining or even just for the "aww" factor.
First, we have Snopes.com Before you forward that email to send letters to "random soldier" or cards to some sick cancer kid or that "gangs will kill you if..." go to that site. There's an easy-to-use search option right at the top of the page. Type in a few keywords and hit "enter". Then you can check it yourself instead of me doing it for you and emailing the link back to you. Because, as an active snopester, it is my obligation to spread the education.
Cake Wrecks- hilarious! Professionally decorated cakes that have gone horribly wrong. Trust me. Time-suck site. Go and enjoy.
It Made My Day- like their tagline says: "Little Moments of Win".
And a personal favorite- Regretsy- that site takes the worst of etsy (the crafting/artisan site) and shows it off for us to mock, recoil in horror, or laugh. I'm so obsessed with it that I post comments there.
Moving on to some knee talk-
I'm nine months out from my cyborg assimilation surgery. I'm still not exercising like I want, but it turns out not to be knee-related. My feet. Yup, my feet scream a poorly written symphony when I walk or stand for long periods of time. I have various 'itis issues in my feet (I have for about 18 years). I have inserts from the podiatrist, but they don't work for heavy-duty stuff. What's the heavy-duty stuff I speak of? Hauling my mASSive ass around, that's what. It took me a little while to figure out what's wrong with my feet. I spent over three years- March 3, 2006 was the date- staying off my feet, walking with crutches, then a cane, then two canes, then a walker, then crutches again, then a cane... and now that my legs are better (more on that later), I'm doing more. I'm standing to cook dinner, I'm walking up and down stairs more, I go to the grocery store without help. And my feet are protesting. They've taken it easy for so long- despite hurting during that time, at least I wasn't torturing them this way. I'm not quite sure what to do about it, but its nice to know it isn't the Steve Austin knee causing the problem.
Speaking of Steve Austin- he's doing great. I have to keep reminding myself that I can stand with my weight equally on both legs. He doesn't hurt at all. Once in a blue while, the tissue around him aches, but nothing in comparison to my life before this surgery. If I had to rate my progress, I'd say 80%. If not for my feet, I'm sure I'd feel fantastic.
This is my first Winter with the new knee (if you say that fast enough, "new knee", you'll giggle) and I'm a little paranoid about falling on the ice. So, I walk slowly, taking baby steps, shuffling along till I pass the slick area. Also, when I'm walking outdoors, my eyes are constantly scanning the ground in front of me. Back and forth, scan... scan... scan... avoid ice... scan... scan... I want to make the "vwooop-vwoooop" sound the Cylons made in "Battlestar Gallactica". (See, kids, back in the olden days, there was a TV series called "Battlestar Gallactica" where the Cylons were actual robots with one red eye that went back and forth on their faces. Not like this crap- yes, CRAP- you got now with the Cylons who look human and apparently can even get pregnant and birth out a human/cylon baby. Which confuses me, because "cylon" is from "cyborg" which means its part machine, part human. So if a baby is from a human father and a cylon mother, does that make it 75% human?)
Anyway, there you have it... and updated blog for your enjoyment.